Disneyland, the happiest place on earth? Umm no.

Disneyland Space Mountain & Splash Mountain

As I write this post, I am preparing myself for a bombardment of hate from Disney enthusiasts.

So for the beginning of Spring Break one of my good friends and I decided to take a one-day trip to Disneyland from 10 a.m. to 10 p.m.; we figured that would give us enough time to do everything. We also only did one park because we are broke college students and didn’t purchase the parkhopper for the others.

No matter where you live, you know what Disneyland is. Why? Because it’s “the happiest place on earth”. Well here are some reasons why I beg to differ:

  1. THE LINES. I would have to say that half of the time we were at Disneyland we were in lines. I refused to stand in a line longer than than the 65 minute wait we had to endure to get on the 65 second ride of Space Mountain (the ride was probably a little longer than 65 seconds but the wait wasn’t a hyperbole).
  2. THE CONFUSION. The rules are not well explained; we had NO IDEA that EVERY ticket comes with a FREE “Fast Pass”. For those of you who don’t know what a Fast Pass is it’s a crappily designed program to get help you avoid lines. You scan your ticket at a machine and it tells you when to come back for that ride. We were able to get one Fast Pass at 6 p.m. and it told us to come back at 9…So essentially you still have to wait forever but instead of waiting in line you can go buy expensive merchandise and then come back. Read more to be prepared.
  3. THE PRICE. Just for a one-day adult ticket it costs $92…that’s without buying the Minnie Mouse ears, water and food for the day. And since we went last week, they raised their prices $5 because their prices aren’t high enough as it is. And because Disney is not already a worldwide monopoly as it is. If you are an average family of 4, it will cost you almost $400 for ADMISSION.
  4. THE HOARDS OF PEOPLE. Who doesn’t like a nice mosh pit of children? Well, I don’t. Yeah, sure I expected Disneyland to be packed but not that packed! I got ran over by a few strollers and cranky parents trying to keep their children corralled together. And for the love of everything, don’t go if you don’t like children. I got my hair yanked by a wonderful child waiting in line.
  5. THE FOOD. I spent SO much on food. On their website it says that you can bring food to eat in “a picnic area placed conveniently outside the main entrance”. A.K.A You can’t bring food into the park so you are forced to spend even more money on their over-priced food. I pray for parents that have to pay for all this.
  6. THE RIDES. As I mentioned before, my friend and I were only able to afford the admission for one of the parks, Disneyland, and not California Adventure. Little did I know Disneyland is basically only for children and had very few thrilling rides for those older than 12. Those that were kinda thrilling (Space Mountain, Splash Mountain, Matterhorn Bob Sleds, Thunder Mountain) had the longest lines and were constantly under maintenance. Someone told me that these rides go under maintenance a lot…umm does that raise a red flag for anyone else?

After spending the day there, we were completely drained. I admire these poor parents dragging their kids along, in the heat, to wait in 50 minute lines and paying hundreds for this experience. I couldn’t imagine doing that. I can’t imagine being 6 years old and waiting in those lines. I rather take my kids to national park or the beach! Disneyland is just not worth it.

So there’s the “happiest place on earth” for ya.

7 thoughts on “Disneyland, the happiest place on earth? Umm no.

  1. Poor Laquisha! Was this your first time at Disneyland? When I lived in California I went to Disneyland quite a bit because it was so close and because my friend’s dad used to work there so most of the times I got in for free :) :) California Adventure has that California Screamin’ Ride which is about as close to a “real” roller coaster as you can get. I’m a bigger fan of Six Flags Magic Mountain because it has great rides but you still have to wait in line and pay for the overpriced food. The struggle will always be real.

    1. I have only been to Disneyland one other time, when I was 7. Now I know why my mother never bothered to take me back again and why I don’t remember much about that visit except losing a hat on a rollercoaster…lol :P

  2. Amen sister! As someone staying “on property” at WDW I was able to set up 3 fast passes per day. I refuse to stand in line for something with over a 60 minute wait. But even then you still spend most of your day in a line which is somehow incredibly exhausting.

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